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Understanding Causes of Low Self Esteem

Understanding the causes of low self esteem is a good place to start if you want to improve how you feel about yourself. Self esteem is based on your beliefs about your general self worth. Having low self esteem means that there is one or more beliefs that cause you to undervalue yourself or to feel like you're not deserving of respect.

In addition, with low self esteem your self motivation level will suffer and you will find it difficult to get things done. Learning how to improve self esteem and self motivation requires understanding the underlying causes of low self esteem and how to decrease their influence.

What are the main causes of low self esteem?

You are constantly receiving feedback from the people around you, both at conscious and unconscious levels. People's reactions can have a great deal of influence on your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. Given enough feedback, you will start to form beliefs around other people's perceptions of you.

While your self esteem stems from internally held beliefs, those beliefs are usually formed from the feedback you get from those around you. Here are some specific examples of how people in your life can influence and cause low self esteem.

Family

Our families have a great deal of influence and power over our initial sense of self esteem. While growing up, the way your parents and family members react and treat you creates the foundation for your self evaluation.

When you feel unimportant, burdensome, or unwanted by your family, your sense of worth plummets. The lack of a positive family environment can make a huge difference in your self evaluations. It may be difficult to get away from family influences, you can try to limit the impact they make on your self esteem. Look for other positive feedback from other sources by forming relationships with those who see the best in you.

Peer Groups

Growing up, family feedback and influence loses power to the influence of your direct peers. In school and in play, the valuation of your peer group takes the primary place of your feedback and can have a great impact on your self esteem. For the most part, there is a strong need to feel accepted in social circles, to feel a part of a group. Rejection from social groups and your peers can be one of the primary causes of low self esteem as you are growing up.

Even if you have strong family support, the peer influence can override the positive influence of family and bring you down. The good news is you have a great deal of flexibility in choosing your peers, especially with the internet. There are countless places to find your niche, to find others like you who appreciate what you have to offer. Take the time to find your niche and peers who support and appreciate you.

Significant Others

As we get older, our significant other gain a great deal of power over our self esteem. With most people you learn to put your guard up, to keep part of yourself hidden, protected. But getting involved with someone at a deep intimate level often brings down the walls, opening yourself up psychologically to the other person. In this place you can be at your most vulnerable. If you have opened yourself up to someone else, then get rejected, criticized or otherwise hurt, your self esteem can take a major hit.

How to Improve Self Esteem

The common theme here is that our interactions with other people is one of the primary causes of low self esteem. While these outside factors do have a strong influence on your life, you do have a degree of power and influence yourself. You can make changes to your environment and to yourself, choose who you interact with, and these changes can influence other peoples' perceptions of yourself. Also, you have the ability to form beliefs that can mitigate the influence of others.

Learn to appreciate yourself, what you have to offer. There is something special about everyone, focus on what makes you special, what makes you unique, what makes you lovable. Focusing your attention on the positive aspects of yourself will strengthen your self esteem and mitigate the influence other people have on you.

Ultimately it is your own beliefs about yourself that generates your self esteem, and you have the power to change those beliefs to focus on what is amazing about yourself, and becoming less reliant on others for your self esteem.

Return from Causes of Low Self Esteem to Overcoming Low Self Esteem

Return from Causes of Low Self Esteem to Self Motivation Strategies

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